I shed quite a few tears last night and this morning. I didn't want to put Jackson through anything else, but most of all, I just didn't want to face a reality of there being something that could take our boy from us. We had to move forward through this storm. My parents came into to town to keep Luke, and J was super excited about them being here. So, the distractions helped, and the fact that I didn't have to worry about my little man was huge!
We are familiar with this hospital by now, so we knew exactly where to go. We registered, and they took us back to radiology where they pretty quickly gave Jackson a small cup of meds that made him sorta loopy. :) I had Froggy and Woody on hand, and they helped J's comfort level. Then, Dave picked Jackson up and carried him to the room where the MRI machine was located. I walked in there with them and the medical team. They quickly put his mask on, he wimpered a little but quickly drifted into sleep. I kissed him and walked out teary-eyed while they were assuring Daddy that J would be fine. The nurse showed us the two places we could wait, the cafeteria or waiting room.
We grabbed something to eat but not before we prayed for our boy. My heart was so heavy with worry and my emotions were not under control. Dave was nervous, too, and rarely does he worry about anything! He offered our prayers to our Savior in the same way that we had asked others to do. I am so thankful for a husband who loves the Lord and will help carry my burdens while he is hurting, too. I am grateful for his perspective and that I can go to him and tell him exactly how I am feeling without any judgement. I am confident, just as he is, that God has spoken and is speaking to our hearts, in different ways, but in a way that we would not have been open to if we weren't experiencing this situation. Just a couple of truths that I shared with Dave that I was reminded of through this...scripture clearly tells us that we are commanded to "have no other gods before me". This means our children, the internet, and so on. I have looked to google for so many answers lately, and how disappointing this must be to my omnipotent Heavenly Father. The love I have for my children is so beautiful and crafted by our Lord, but it shouldn't ever, ever come before my love for Him. In the midst of my worry and fear, in the midst of my sin, I was still reminded that when we call out to God, He shows us such great things that we can't even imagine!
The nurse came to get us shortly after 12:00, and we found Jackson crying. I held him, and we let him know we were there. He became bossy...wanting his IV out, bracelet off, warm blanket, drink-no drink, pillow-no pillow, and the list goes on. I was just so delighted to hear him talking! :) The staff fell in love with him despite his demands!
We knew the MRI had been read by the neuro-radiologist, because he has to read it before he ever leaves the machine to be sure the images captured enough data for the neurologist. He wouldn't talk to us, though, and the info. had not even been sent to Dr. Corbier when we left. Part of the burden was lifted by just having Jackson successfully come through the procedure. I decided that I would try to contact the office around 3 or 4 that afternoon. Around 2:30, Dr. Corbier called. I heard his calm, distinguished voice ask for me. The next words out of his mouth were, "I have good, good news...Jackson's brain looks beautiful!" Praise the Lord! He didn't want me to wait any longer, so he called me asap. I am so impressed with that man!! He is excited to show off Jackson's brain to us through these images at our next appointment. :/
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