The Day of the MRI

This day was such a black cloud for me. I cannot think of another time in my life when I was this scared. When you think about the possibilities of things that can occur involving your child's brain, it can shake you to the very core. Another mom who had experienced an MRI with her little guy asked me what made me most nervous. I had to tell her that I feared that they would find something that would take Jackson's life. There isn't much to compare to that feeling. You can't even reason with yourself; you just have to rely on your faith.

I shed quite a few tears last night and this morning. I didn't want to put Jackson through anything else, but most of all, I just didn't want to face a reality of there being something that could take our boy from us. We had to move forward through this storm. My parents came into to town to keep Luke, and J was super excited about them being here. So, the distractions helped, and the fact that I didn't have to worry about my little man was huge!

We are familiar with this hospital by now, so we knew exactly where to go. We registered, and they took us back to radiology where they pretty quickly gave Jackson a small cup of meds that made him sorta loopy. :) I had Froggy and Woody on hand, and they helped J's comfort level. Then, Dave picked Jackson up and carried him to the room where the MRI machine was located. I walked in there with them and the medical team. They quickly put his mask on, he wimpered a little but quickly drifted into sleep. I kissed him and walked out teary-eyed while they were assuring Daddy that J would be fine. The nurse showed us the two places we could wait, the cafeteria or waiting room.

We grabbed something to eat but not before we prayed for our boy. My heart was so heavy with worry and my emotions were not under control. Dave was nervous, too, and rarely does he worry about anything! He offered our prayers to our Savior in the same way that we had asked others to do. I am so thankful for a husband who loves the Lord and will help carry my burdens while he is hurting, too. I am grateful for his perspective and that I can go to him and tell him exactly how I am feeling without any judgement. I am confident, just as he is, that God has spoken and is speaking to our hearts, in different ways, but in a way that we would not have been open to if we weren't experiencing this situation. Just a couple of truths that I shared with Dave that I was reminded of through this...scripture clearly tells us that we are commanded to "have no other gods before me". This means our children, the internet, and so on. I have looked to google for so many answers lately, and how disappointing this must be to my omnipotent Heavenly Father. The love I have for my children is so beautiful and crafted by our Lord, but it shouldn't ever, ever come before my love for Him. In the midst of my worry and fear, in the midst of my sin, I was still reminded that when we call out to God, He shows us such great things that we can't even imagine!

The nurse came to get us shortly after 12:00, and we found Jackson crying. I held him, and we let him know we were there. He became bossy...wanting his IV out, bracelet off, warm blanket, drink-no drink, pillow-no pillow, and the list goes on. I was just so delighted to hear him talking! :) The staff fell in love with him despite his demands!

We knew the MRI had been read by the neuro-radiologist, because he has to read it before he ever leaves the machine to be sure the images captured enough data for the neurologist. He wouldn't talk to us, though, and the info. had not even been sent to Dr. Corbier when we left. Part of the burden was lifted by just having Jackson successfully come through the procedure. I decided that I would try to contact the office around 3 or 4 that afternoon. Around 2:30, Dr. Corbier called. I heard his calm, distinguished voice ask for me. The next words out of his mouth were, "I have good, good news...Jackson's brain looks beautiful!" Praise the Lord! He didn't want me to wait any longer, so he called me asap. I am so impressed with that man!! He is excited to show off Jackson's brain to us through these images at our next appointment. :/

Sometimes it seems like too much for one little guy...

But, this guy is a tool that God is using, and we continue to be in love with him!



Awhile back, I had an entire post on the blog about Jackson and some of what we have been experiencing with him. Then, it somehow mysteriously disappeared. I have thought about that often, and I just had to remember that for some reason it just wasn't the right time to share that post.

Over the past few days, we have flooded email boxes and facebook walls of friends and family requesting prayers for Jackson. In March, we went in for our routine visit with Dr. Corbier, Jackson's neurologist, who addresses any concerns we have about him and notes his progress mainly from a speech/language perspective but also globally. We were so excited to share Jackson's progress at that time, and Dr. C was happy to hear this news. In our conversation, we brought up nutrition, and the fact that Jackson had experienced vomiting in January and March of this year. We recapped what had gone on with Jackson over the past two years.

Let's backtrack....J was diagnosed with acid reflux in April 2010. I even posted about this back then because he was literally vomiting and having diarrhea for a month. After researching J's symptoms and talking to his pediatrician, we decided to try him on Prevacid. Wow, the symptoms disappeared, and we even weaned him off of the meds later on in the year. Then, in 2011, we had a reoccurance. Throughout that year, he would wake up any random morning and start vomiting or dry heaving off and on for around an hour, take a nap, and then he was himself again. It always left Dave and me wondering if it was a stomach virus or acid reflux. In 2012, he went off of Prevacid, because they quit making it in his dosage. So, the pediatrician recommended Pepcid. He started Pepcid in January 2012, and he got sick on March 17th, April 4th, April 16th, and he started Prilosec in May. He got sick on June 2nd. :(

Dr. Corbier listened to us that day and revealed that he wasn't sure Jackson was experiencing acid reflux. He wondered if it was cyclic vomiting. Some children experience this and outgrow it by adolescence. Sometimes migraines develop after that. He suggested us take J to the GI in his office, and we followed his advice. She didn't offer a lot of advice but ordered blood tests, Upper GI, and a dairy free diet for a month for Jackson. She also asked Dr. C to order an EEG. All of this was to rule out metabolic disorders, seizures, celiac disease, etc. All proved to be normal. We went for our follow up in May with her. Since I knew all tests were normal, I decided to take Jackson without Dave. After all, he just started a new job and needed to work! It was at that visit that she told me that we really needed to rule out anything neurological, like a mass, cyst, etc...a mass, a MASS, you mean T-U-M-O-R, I asked! She told me that she didn't really think Jackson had a tumor, because those kids usually vomit for days and are very sick. But, she said Dr. Corbier would have to tell me how tumors present when they are first developing, very small, that is. Oh my, I was about to go over the edge! She strongly suggested an MRI for Jackson, but Dr. Corbier had to order those. Needless to say, I left worried. But, much to my surprise, around 7:00 that night, Dr. Corbier -- a very busy man, overloaded with patients and unable to take anymore -- called me at home. He had read the GI's notes and wanted to talk to me about tumors in children. He reassured me that children with brain tumors, even small ones, do NOT present themselves like Jackson. He said those children have headaches, are falling down, or having tremors on one side of their body; they try to point but their hand shakes and can't reach the target. Dr. C saw nothing like that when he examined Jackson, and we hadn't seen those things either. He said by the time they are vomiting, the child is in tremendous pain and the parents know there is something terribly wrong. The GI also talked about some sort of sac in the back of the brain that can cause vomiting...I tuned a lot of this out after I heard TUMOR. Dr. Corbier said that isn't what happens with those patients, either, and he has seen more than he can count. However, he couldn't tell me for sure that Jackson was not having a seizure in his sleep or some type of cyst wasn't present. Dr. C told me that he is not perfect with his predictions, but he has been doing this a long time, and he'd be shocked & surprised if he found anything abnormal on Jackson's MRI. The GI twisted his arm to order the MRI. Dr. Corbier doesn't typically request it for vomiting alone and/or verbal apraxia. He left the ultimate decision up to Dave and me, because he was not doing the MRI to prove something that he already knew as in the case of some of his little patients. He did want to prove to the GI doctor that she needed to explore the gut and not the brain, but he could not say that without looking at Jackson's brain. Dr. C did desire to look at the structure of Jackson's brain, and he felt that no matter what the MRI showed, we would ultimately be glad we did it. Dave and I knew that our mind and heart would not be settled without the MRI.

From Hospital Cap to Birthday Hat :)

Luke's First Birthday Party

We celebrated Luke's first birthday with our family and close friends nearby. We had a wagon theme for Luke and Dave grilled out for us. It was so nice to have the people together that have watched Luke grow this year and celebrate his life with us! I realized at this party just how hard it would have been for us if we hadn't had any help. My mom basically took care of the food preparation and Dave's parents & my sister were here helping with different jobs that needed to be done. I would have been so overwhelmed without them! I got to actually enjoy our guests and watch Luke celebrate his birthday party, because I had these extra hands. The pictures show how fabulous this party was for our little guy!

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The Brothers on Their Special Day

Hurricane Luke Turns ONE

We made Luke's birthday celebration last the entire weekend! We celebrated his actual birthday as a family of four...gifts, dinner at Fatz Cafe -- we tried to choose a place that has many items he can eat, and playing! He loved the attention and he stuffed his little belly at dinner! I think the stone ground grits were his favorite. He woo'd the waitress, and she brought him a strawberry shortcake! Charmer. Who knew our little guy also shares his special day with the start of hurricane season and National Doughnut Day?! Now, those two fit him! :)

And...a page was ripped within five minutes of having the book. I wasn't sure which boy to be upset with, so we just kindly taped it back and called it an accident! :/